Monthly Archive for April, 2006

“Where Are You Going…”

Well, I don’t really feel like being creative…but I want to post so that those people (ok, my brother) that read this little blog won’t think I’ve forgotten about them. So, I give you myspace babble. This one made me reflect though….and I’m all about reflection these days. I guess you can say I’m missing home. Or my friends. Or both. Part of me is hoping that they are missing me a little too. Here ya go:

3 YEARS AGO

How old were you?: 23

What grade year were you in?: I think I was working….let’s see…April, 2003? Yep…working for The Man.

Where did you go to school?: I had already graduated from Cal State Bakersfield…and hadn’t started Master’s stuff yet…

Where did you work?: Klein, DeNatale; Starbucks occassionally; and graded/assisted Mike Ault with various things…

Where did you live?: Bako…with my two best friends…and paying 10 times less than what my rent is currently (in the O.C.). Why did I move again? Oh yeah…that’s right…

Where did you hang out?: Oh geez….everywhere. Probably at some ‘gigs’ that I went to with some friends (at least I still hope they are my friends) that were in a band; in front of Mike Ault’s fire place grading papers and letting him convince me that I was a good human being; Friend’s houses; Lucky’s maybe; the Silvery Foxy with Meghanatrix and Terry.

How was your hair style?: Blonde, short…the way I like it. Maybe I was starting to grow it at that point. (Note: When I stated my master’s program, my hair was at my chin. I vowed not to cut it until I was done…when I graduated, it was about 4 inches from my butt…apparently I have superhuman ability and my hair grows fast.)

Did you wear braces?: No.

Did you wear glasses?: For reading/driving.

Who were your best friends?: Ashley, Tiffany, Steve Icon, Dan Icon, Dr. Ault, Elisa….and whoever was buying…

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: Um…ya know…I don’t think I had one at this point…well, i had just gone through a gnarly breakup so…maybe I had boyfriend(s). i remember a guy from Ireland around this time I think…or maybe Roger? This time in my life is what I call the “dark” period…

Who was your celebrity crush?: More than likely Dave Matthews or Ryan Reynolds. Perhaps Brad Pitt before he fell from grace.

Who was your regular-person crush?: This one I’m sure of…Michael Lee.

How many tattoos did you have?: 0

How many piercings did you have?: Belly Button; 3 in my right ear; two in my left.

What was your favorite band/group?: Neighborhood Icon. :) Also, probably ‘The Used’ and something very very angry like that…and anything that helped heal a broken heart.

What was your worst fear?: Never recovering from said broken heart.

Had you driven yet: yes.

Had you been to a real party yet?: How do you know if it’s a ‘real’ party? I think a midget was at a few so…yes.

Had your heart been broken?: Oh honey. Perhaps I should attach my credit card bill for all the ‘retail’ (and other kinds of) therapy I did…not to mention the real therapy.

LETS SEE how YOU ARE NOW !!!!!

How old are you?: 26

What grade are you in?: Um…got my bachelor’s; got my master’s; so, I guess I’m in like 20th grade….or you could say future first year law student.

Where do you live?: The Beach.

Where do you hang out?: Various places…usually at or around The Beach.

How is your hair style?: blonde and short…the way I like it

Do you have braces?: no.

Do you wear glasses?: For reading/computering.

Who are your best friends?: Brando; Ashley; my bro; Meghan; Tiffany; I’m still gonna throw in Mike Ault –even though I havn’t seen his fireplace in a while — we still talk.

Who is you bf/gf?: Brando…aka Brandon, Bdo (as in B-dough….not b-dew)

Who is your celebrity crush?: Dave and Ryan Reynolds.

How many tattoos do you have?: 0

How many piercings do you have?: same as above.

What is your favorite band?: Well, I think that my head will explode if I don’t say DMB….there are others though….Ben Harper hasn’t left my c.d. player in a while…but there are still others…depends on my mood.

What is your biggest fear?: Inadequacy….or just adequacy for that matter. I want to be more than adequate.

Have you driven yet? : I live in Orange County…we drive everywhere…even across the street for coffee.

Have you been to a real party?: I’m still confused…

Has your heart been broken?: Not since that first time…it was a doozy…I ain’t doing that again….

“So dry your tears away…Go ahead and fly”

I was listening to some B-side Dave Matthews tunes and came across this lyric from “Butterfly”.

Warning: This is gonna be a sappy, self-indulgent, good-only-for-the-person-that-wrote-it-and-who-she-wrote-it-for post. Regardless, I hope you can enjoy it on some level.

Tomorrow my big brother is gonna do something very scary. Something that he’s planned for, but nevertheless, scary altogether. He started the year rocky…and started the last year even rockier. But he persevered. He worked through it. Now, he owns his moments.

For those of you who don’t know, my brother is pretty much my best friend. Even though I can’t really call on the childhood friends who I grew up with, I got pretty lucky with the fact that my brother ended up being my best friend. He’s known me from the beginning…and he still likes me. It’s pretty amazing actually. As I look back, I’m shocked to realize that he’s liked all the people I’ve been. He’s liked all the “in between” personas I had before finally landing on this one (and I’m pretty sure I’m stuck on this one). And the same goes for him. I’ll love him forever. Regardless of who he is or what he does. But, he’s made it easy on me because he wants to be a doctor. That’s pretty effin’ easy to respect. And like the lyrics from Butterfly, he really has “dried his eyes and began to fly”.

Isn’t life beautiful? Even in the crappy?

I’ve got no doubts when it comes to him and this Saturday (but just in case, I’ve cashed in all I had left over with the “big guy in the sky”)….what they’re asking him to do….he’s always had it inside of him. He’s ate, breathed and slept it for as long as I can remember. It’s all inside of him. But I’ve been trying to think of words of encouragement and all I can think is a song lyric by Ben Harper…

“Fools will be fools and wise will be wise
but I’m gonna look this world straight in the eyes.
Take your face out of your hands and clear your eyes
you have a right to your dreams and don’t be denied.
I believe in a better way.”

That’s been my brother….always believing in a better way and taking the world by the balls. You’ve come a long way kid. Before you know it, people are gonna be sayin’ “Did you know that Jeff Carter cured cancer?” “Did you know that Jeff found this itty bitty thing that no one knew existed inside a person?” “Did you know that Jeff Carter…………”

So really, when you think about it, this post has a theme: In general, my brother rocks.

Rock on, my brother.

“29 Years….don’t they go by in a blink…”

Today is my fiance’s birthday.

We didn’t have much planned…he opened his presents, we went to dinner and a movie, then came back home for more movie watching.

While we were watching the movie and literally doing nothing to mark a special day, something hit me as hard as it ever has. I am happy. I’m not sure when this happened but today of all days, as I look across the couch and see my future, I realized it. I am completely content.

Maybe it’s because I can have fun while doing nothing with him. Maybe its because he lets me be who I am. Maybe its because he needs me (i.e: Him: “Babe, who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird?” Me: Harper Lee). Maybe its because I’ve realized there’s more to life than what makes you cry…what makes you laugh.

I hope he has a ‘happy’ birthday, too. And that it only keeps gettin’ better…