Monthly Archive for February, 2006

“A little less conversation, a little more action….”

Mostly in honor of my birthday (March 9), but also in honor of Nicole’s birthday, I am headin’ to Vegas on March 1. This rocks for a pelthora of reasons, some of which, I will list here:

1. It will give me something to blog about. As my life pretty much revolves around reality t.v.; working; and trying to figure out how I can work while watching reality t.v., I havn’t felt blogworthy lately…which pretty much explains my random once a week posting. But alas, this is about to change.

2. I might win some cash. I’m a dollar slot whore…and those beyotches are callin’ my name. I ALWAYS win at the same slot machine in the same casino. It’s bizarre really. Like me and that machine are soulmates. I won’t tell you which machine that is because…well…we hardly know each other.

3. It will give me an avenue to mention to everyone (including strangers) that my birthday is approaching. More than a dollar slot whore, I am an attention whore. Which basically means that I can’t wait for people to ask, “Leanne, why are you going to Vegas?” and then I get to say “Oh, because my birthday is coming up…” Then, people tend to celebrate said birthday for WEEKS. This “vegas/birthday” mention is, quite frankly, the greatest plan in the world.

4. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again — Bellagio Water Shows. And better yet, my fantastic boyfriend (ya know, the one who said that thing about the buffalo ball that one time…that one) has purchased rooms AT the Bellagio…which means I don’t have ruin my pedicure by walking around in my rediculously painful shoes to get to the watershow. Because I’ll already be there. In addition, there happens to be a water show at midnight during weekdays. I can’t figure out how I didn’t know this…but now I’m excited about it.

5. Packing for trips is fun. I always find clothes that I forgot I had. Enough said.

6. I can, for a few days, release the facade that I “have it all together”. There is no one to impress in Vegas. It doesn’t matter if you’re a lawyer or a dog walker (not that there’s anything wrong with that….it’s just…ya know…it’s usually the opposite of lawyer), you are all there for the same reason — to act like a fool. This makes my stomach settle for the first time in years.

7. Mon Amie Gabi – The restaurant in Paris. They have au gratin potatoes there, which I get as an entree, because it is THAT good. Since no one judges in Vegas, I have no problem ordering a side dish as an entree…I ain’t ashamed.

8. I get to be rude to those people who stand on the side of the street and preach and try to hand me fliers about how I’m gonna burn for being in Vegas instead of church. So, I guess some people DO judge others while in Vegas…I find it ironic that they are usually the people who aren’t supposed to judge AT ALL. Ever. Anywhere. Regardless, it’s called Sin City for cryin’ out loud! Just give us this place….just let us have this ONE thing…

9. Who knows? I might run into George Clooney. Or someone else famous. And, I am not at all above jumping into Lake Bellagio and swimming my ass over to them if that’s what it takes. I’m just sayin’.

10. I don’t really have anything more to say…I just couldn’t end on a number 9….it goes against God…and it’s unlucky. And I need my luck because I’m heading to Vegas. Why? Because it’s my birthday…

“You Oughtta Know…”

List of things that I am currently annoyed with:

1. Old women in Mercedes who are the worst drivers set on the planet…

2. My dog barking at every little thing (Note: I have remedied this by putting him in the laundry hamper whenever he barks…haha…little guy gets so scared…)

3. Blondes with fake boobs/tans walking around looking adorable with HUGE rocks on their fingers while shopping in the middle of the day because they don’t have to work (Note: I’m not so much as “annoyed” with them as I am painfully jealous of them).

4. General grumpiness of every employee working at Target.

5. The fact that those conversation hearts (ya know, the valentine day candy) are not, in fact, calorie free like I thought they were when I was a kid.

6. Credit card debt. (Not that I have any Mom *batts eyes*)

7. The fact that I am not in Vegas at this very moment looking at the Bellagio.

8. The fact that I’m not 20, with my bright future ahead of me.

9. My general state of affairs/being.

But the good thing is that I absolutely LOVE these. They are a dream come true for every vegetarian.

I suppose I’m having one of those days…ya know…the kind where you just feel like a general failure and then everything else (see above) starts to annoy you just a little bit more. But, I’ve got Dave ready to play in the car and PCH just beggin for me to drive down it…

Ah yes…all will be well again after I see my mistress, the ocean.

“Use Sunscreen”

Today, the single greatest thing in the world happened to me. The transcript of said event follows:

Boss: “Leanne, you look really nice today.” (which I totally did with NEW killer shoes and a pencil skirt)

Me: “Thanks boss.”

Boss: “I wanted to tell you that when I first saw you come in but, you know…it’s a little awkward when a 50 year old man tells his 20 year old secretary that she looks nice.”

Me: (excitedly) “You really think I look 20?!?!”

Boss: *blank stare*

I’d like to think I look young because I use so much sunscreen. Oh, and I stopped any and all “fake and baking” despite how white/pastey my ass is and how many ‘tanorexic’, pop-tarts I see walking around Orange County. Screw you wrinkles! Uh-huh…I won’t be having any part of that.

Albeit, I’m only 25 (ok, in a month i’ll be 26). But, with 30 rapidly approaching, I’ll take the benefit of someone rounding my age DOWN anyday.

Note: If you are having a hard time aging gracefully (i.e. me), you should spend most of your time around people 25 years older than you…this almost always makes me feel young. But mostly, you should use sunscreen. Really. Baz Luhrmann was right. Those of us that were sun worshippers in high school are 100% effed.