Monthly Archive for December, 2005

Published on December 30, 2005 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

“In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make…”

One time I heard someone say that in real life the guy that played Kevin Arnold (ya know, the kid from The Wonder Years) is still dating the girl that played Winnie (the girl next door). I thought that was so beautiful that my OCD didn’t even kick in and require me to research it and obtain validity and/or applicable sources. (Note: If you do, in fact, know that Kevin and Winnie are NOT together, please DO NOT ruin it for me…let me have this one.) It was a very tumultuous time in my life when I heard this and I thought, “God….maybe some people do spend a lifetime together.”

Then Nick and Jessica broke up. And that made me feel crappy.

But then, those crazy kids from “The Notebook” started dating each other and are rumored to be gettin’ hitched. Say it with me everyone, “Awwwww….”

Love. That. More. Than. Life. Itself.

And then to tip the “Love does exist” scale even more, I saw Brokeback Mountain today. Good god people. Just go see it and reserve your copy on DVD. If it doesn’t win Oscars, the world isn’t right. Either that or all the Oscar voter guys are actually closet homosexuals and they aren’t ready to come out of the closet yet…which is a valid theory, I gotta say. The movie just goes to show ya that despite all our differences (i.e. race, color, religion, etc.), we are connected to each other because we all feel love and we all feel pain.

Usually, the two go hand in hand…but not for Winnie/Kevin and those kids from “The Notebook”…those kids are gonna be alright…

Published on December 23, 2005 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

“Money Money Money….MONEY”

My boyfriend’s holiday party was today. Ya know the kind…the ones that are SO boring but you pretty much have to go or else you don’t get the bonus. Well he came home with his “gifts” from his staff. Now, normally these gifts are pretty crappy. This year, he got a bonus from the company, an additional small gift of cash and a gift card from Target and Barnes and Noble.

I love gift cards.

And, knowing this, my boyfriend GAVE me his gift cards. Love. him. So, thanks to my boyfriend, now I have $25 bucks to burn at both Barnes and Noble and Target.

God I love that man.

Published on December 13, 2005 in Uncategorized. 3 Comments

“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…”

Today I went to Target. This sucks for many reasons, but mostly because it is christmas time and everyone and their grandma are at Target…or as I like to call it Tarjay.

So, not only did I have to go to Target during christmas season, but I had to go to the BATHROOM in Target during christmas season. So, I go in there, do my business (No. 1 thanks for asking) and, ya know, the ‘grunter’ is in there. You know…the person that grunts or sighs everytime they make a move. Like opens door *grunts*; sits down *sighs*…I mean COME ON…it’s pretty effing sick really.

Well, when I go to wash my hands the Grunter comes out of the stall and SURPRISE is a big ol’ fat woman. And, I KNOW what she’s been doin’ in there because she is, after all, the Grunter. So, Fat Grunter continues her grunting and washes her hands, etc. She then turns to me and says (I shit you not), “Honey can you do me a favor? Can you pull my pants up?”

*blank stare*

“Excuse me?” I say to Fat Grunter.

She repeats herself and says “I have such a hard time getting around that I can’t pull them up all the way. Can you help me pull them up over my underwear?”

Answer: No.

I mean, really. I heard the grunts that she was making due to that ass…I ain’t gettin near it.

I am silent, due to general shock and the fact that I’m half expecting Ashton Kutcher to hop out of the stall with a camera crew. I guess the lady washing her hands felt bad for either me or Fat Grunter because she piped up and offered to pull Fat Grunter’s pants ‘over her underwear’.

I left that bathroom never to return again…and when I left I had a smile on my face. I smiled becasue I absolutely could not wait to get home and blog about it.

What kind of a person does that make me?

Published on December 12, 2005 in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Tired of fighting?

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

I am a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

Published on December 7, 2005 in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

My brother and I are different….

My brother takes literally weeks to finish his christmas list. It involves draft after redraft. *I* finish mine before my Tofurky has time to digest on Thanksgiving.

My brother has years worth gift cards to various places in his wallet. He waits until the perfect opportunity to spend each one. He is very calculated when it comes to the matter of “is this item gift card worthy”? *I* spend them the next business day after receiving them. I don’t care what I buy with them. It could be something I already have and I’d still use the gift card because I can.

My brother knows every shortcut key in existence for Macs. *I* just learned what Alt + Tab on a PC does.

Published on December 1, 2005 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

“Santa Claus is comin’ to town….”

As per my normal evening activities, I chatted with my brother via ichat. We never really say anything worth mentioning during our chats…just normal review of the day, etc. Ya know, he curses and I tell him funny things that my boyfriend has unknowingly said (i.e. “I can’t believe you’ve never eaten a milkbone!” — to be further addressed in a later post…dontcha just love cliffhangers). This particular ichat session lended itself to brand new information which actually answers all my questions about who I am. Let me share with you the story:

I guess when I was little (I’m assuming around 4 or 5) my mom put my brother and I into matching little blue outfits (which answers all my questions about HIS personality since I am a 4 year old girl and he is an 8 year old boy and we had MATCHING outfits) and had our christmas picture taken. After the picture, my mom took us to go see Santa. I, of course, do not remember this because I don’t remember any of my childhood except bits and pieces that feel like a dream that you aren’t quite sure is real or not. I’m sure a therapist would have something to say about that but…another time another post.

Back to the visit with Santa: My brother says my mom was going over with us what we would tell Santa we wanted for Christmas. Mom, bless her heart, is the type that would never EVER let her children go up to Santa unrehearsed. I mean, God we could go up there and ask for a R rated movie or cigarattes and mortify her completely. No, Mom would not have that…not on her Santa watch. Anyway, I had been DYING to get this Rainbow Brite (hey it was the ’80s) crap for what seemed like my whole little life. In retrospect, it was probably for about 5 days, but to me it might as well have been a lifetime. I wanted it SO bad. I know I had my chance. My brother says I walked up to Santa, got my picture taken, sat on his lap and was silent. He asked me what I wanted and I said “…a Barbie Doll.” WTF? An em-effin’ barbie???!!!

Of course my mom was stunned. She asked me on the way home (so says my brother because again, I don’t remember this) “Leanne do you really want a Barbie doll.” I started to cry and said “No….I got scared.” I guess Santa freaked me the hell out and I was caught off guard and settled for “…a Barbie Doll.” The sweetest thing in the world is that my brother (who lets not forget was in a matching powder blue outfit) said that if Santa didn’t bring to me what I wanted that I could have any of his Santa presents. He also prayed to Jesus that night that Jesus would tell Santa that I was just scared and I didn’t really want a mother-crap barbie doll.

Maybe you have to know me but it really isn’t like me to KNOW what I want and not go after it completely. So the way I see it, Santa was my turning point. The moment I said “…a Barbie Doll…” I knew that *I* couldn’t deal with not getting what I want. I remember writing a LOT of letters to Santa that year to redact my wish list. The first of many last ditch efforts to get what I really wanted after pretending that it really didn’t matter to me.

I got Rainbow Brite crap that year…and it was awesome.